TUESDAY IS THE WORST DAY OF THE WEEK.
I’ll tell you why.
MONDAY sees you refreshed from the weekend. Remember all that fun you had on Saturday and Sunday? It’s still wafting over you, like God’s fart.
By WEDNESDAY you’ve made it halfway through the week. If this were WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE, you’d be at $500,000! It’s also hump day, so do with that what you will.
THURSDAY is oft referred to as ‘little friday’. You are so close to the end of the week that you can taste its weekendy goodness.
And FRIDAY you’re wasted. So it doesn’t even count.
BUT TUESDAY. UGH TUESDAY. On Tuesday there’s nothing to live for. There’s more days in front of you than behind you. The magic of the previous weekend’s worn off. You think ‘taco tuesday’ will save you? It won’t, unless you want to spend Wednesday in the bathroom.
The only thing more disappointing than Tuesday is Sunday, when you roll up to Chick-fil-A only to discover IT’S CLOSED.
DAMN YOU, CHICK-FIL-A!